Baby boomers have broken many taboos and transformed social norms, particularly around sexuality. As this generation grows older, is society’s view of older adults’ sexuality changing? Research suggests it is, even if some taboos persist.
As a specialist in sexuality and aging, I have been working on this topic for nearly 15 years and have observed growing interest in it.
The baby boomer generation’s greater comfort with sexuality may explain this trend. However, this openness — both in society at large and among baby boomers themselves — could obscure the more insidious ways ageism limits the possibilities for a fulfilling sex life in later years.
A more permissive approach to sexuality
Baby boomers witnessed — and actively participated in — major social and cultural changes in private life amid the women’s rights movement, progress made by sexual minorities and the sexual revolution of the 1960s and ‘70s.
While previous generations believed sex should take place within heterosexual marriage, should focus on penetrative sex and should serve the purpose of procreation, baby boomers embraced new sexual norms. Sex increasingly came to be seen as something that could be enjoyed outside marriage and heterosexual relationships, with pleasure as its primary goal.
These major transformations have had long-term effects. Studies comparing the sexual behaviours and attitudes of older adults across generations show that the baby boomer generation value sexuality more highly and are more permissive than previous generations.
The pressure to perform
But to better understand the relationship boomers now have with sexuality, we must consider the influence of the successful aging movement.
Aiming to combat ageism and promote active aging, this movement has introduced new norms around sexuality and intimacy, notably through the marketing of erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra and the growth of the anti-aging industry.
These new sexuality norms exert unprecedented pressure on older adults. While their right to a sexual life is more widely recognized, it’s also accompanied by a tacit obligation to perform and a relentless pressure to stay youthful and desirable.
Disguised ageism
This is a form of disguised ageism: older adults’ sexuality is now encouraged, but only if it conforms to youthful standards. Furthermore, recognition of older adults’ right to sexuality is shaped by a double standard: women face more ageism than men when it comes to seduction.
Baby boomers may therefore face tensions between an open view of sexuality inherited from their youth and ageist sexual norms.
But do these norms actually manifest in older adults’ sexual experiences, and if so, in what ways?
Men’s sexual experiences
To help answer this question, I’m sharing the findings from two research projects I conducted in Québec.
The first project focuses on the sex lives of older men who have used pharmaceutical erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra. It’s based on in-depth interviews with 27 men aged 65 to 84, both heterosexual and gay.
This study first highlights a wide diversity in men’s sexual experiences and how they express their sexuality. While some emphasize intimacy, connection and tenderness, others describe a sexuality centered on genital practices, either solo or with a partner. Several participants also report engaging in more sexually adventurous practices, such as pornography use or BDSM.
More sexually exploratory practices are more common among gay men, but the tendency to place greater importance on intimacy as people age is observed among both heterosexual and gay participants.
Regarding the use of erectile dysfunction drugs, two main attitudes emerge. Some participants use them to explore their sexuality and enhance pleasure, while others use them to restore erectile function, which they associate with masculinity and youth.
The desire to maintain sexual performance can generate negative emotions when medications are ineffective or fail to produce the desired results. Finally, among gay men, the use of erectile dysfunction drugs can serve as a way of countering ageism, which is particularly prevalent within their community.
Women’s sexuality
The project on the sexuality of older women that I’m currently conducting — in collaboration with other researchers and in partnership with Women’s Centers in Québec — is based on a mixed-methods approach: individual interviews and a participatory photography method known as photovoice.
Among the 22 participants aged 60 and older, half took part in the photovoice project. Two groups were formed — one composed of heterosexual women and the other of lesbian women. Each group jointly selected six to eight themes related to sexuality that would be the subject of photographs. Every two weeks, participants were invited to take photos individually and then share them with the group.
Four group meetings were dedicated to presenting these photos and to discussions among the participants about the issues they raised. Some of these photos were shared in the form of a digital exhibition to raise public awareness of the issues older women face regarding sexuality.
Preliminary data analysis reveals several key findings. First, older women lack spaces where they can talk about sexuality. They say it is essential to break the silence surrounding this topic.
The influence of conservative religious sexual values that shaped their youth has sometimes left a lasting mark, whether through the denial of their right to desire and pleasure or, in the case of lesbian participants, through experiences of lesbophobia.
Finally, several women mentioned the negative impact of ageist beauty standards on their sense of desirability and their ability to find an intimate partner.
However, despite these challenges, most participants reported an active sex life, an openness to exploring new practices in later life, and the physical as well as psychological benefits they derive from their sexual activities with a partner or on their own.
The boomer generation is undoubtedly helping to reduce the taboo surrounding older adults’ sexuality. But there is still a long way to go before these men and women can comfortably enjoy a fulfilling sex life, free from ageist expectations and the lingering effects of the social norms they grew up with.
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