Screens are everywhere in children’s lives. They use them at school and at home. They see screens used by their parents as they work on laptops, use phones to arrange playdates or look up outings or recipes on tablets.
Managing screen time can be difficult when – as recent guidelines published by the Department for Education make clear – it’s not just how much time children spend on screens, but what they’re doing with them that matters. This applies to parents’ use of screens, too. Here are five tips on how to use screens with and around children in a positive way.
1. Model healthy habits
“Technoference” affects many of us. It’s the distraction caused by technology during social interactions, such as the urge to respond to a phone alert while having an in-person conversation. When parents are distracted by their mobile devices, they may talk or physically engage less with their children. In fact, research has linked audible notifications, such as text message chimes, to poorer infant vocabulary.
If a parent is absorbed in a device, they also may respond more harshly to a child misbehaving.
Research on mothers and children found that screen distractions led to them responding less to their child which in turn reduced maternal sensitivity. Maternal sensitivity is crucial for child development as it promotes secure attachment and enhances emotional regulation.
Try to think consciously about how often you use your own device. Silencing notifications when spending time with your child can help ensure you are fully present.
2. Keep an eye on using screens to manage stress
Parenting can be hard work. Many turn to devices as “electronic babysitters” to manage hectic schedules or fit in other family responsibilities. This could be giving a toddler a screen while changing their wailing younger sibling’s nappy, for instance.
We’re currently carrying out research on the reasons behind young children’s screen use. Existing research shows a link between parenting stress – caused by the demands of parenting – and children’s use of mobile devices. Factors such as parental anxiety, depression, and responses to a child’s negative emotions can influence children’s screen time.
Providing a device to a child may offer temporary relief for parents, but the excessive use of interactive electronic devices can hinder some aspects of children’s social-emotional development.
Parents who experience stress due to their child’s challenging behaviour may withdraw from direct interactions with their child and instead resort to technology as a coping mechanism. This reliance on devices can intensify problematic behaviour and further disengage parents from interacting with their children.
Whenever possible, try a different strategy to alleviate parenting stress before handing your child a device. The American Psychological Association offers advice on how to manage stress as a parent. These include talking to others about how you’re feeling, learning new parenting techniques and taking “microbreaks”, such as pausing for five minutes to breathe deeply and recalibrate your thoughts. It’s also important to acknowledge the pressures of parenting. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have.
3. Use screens together
Screens often play a positive role in family life. Many parents use them as an educational tool or as an opportunity to strengthen connections. This could be through video calls, playing music or sharing and viewing photos together.
Additionally, “co-viewing” – when parents and children watch or play on a device together – is not linked to insecure attachment. This is a state where the child lacks confidence in their caregiver due to inconsistent or neglectful care. In fact, co-viewing can actually have a small positive effect on children’s learning.
Whenever you can, watch or play on the device with your child instead of letting them use it alone. Discuss what is happening on screen to turn a passive experience into a learning opportunity.
4. Follow age-specific guidelines
A 2023 study, which provided recommendations for managing screen time for children under five years old, highlighted the importance of parents’ knowledge of screen time guidelines. However, research has indicated that parents of children under five are generally more confident in managing their child’s physical activity than in managing screen behaviour.
The Department for Education’s guidelines recommend that parents restrict screen time to one hour per day for children aged two to five years. For children aged up to two years, it’s best to avoid screen time as much as possible. You can also set parental controls on devices to ensure that your child has access only to age-appropriate content. The NSPCC offers guidance on setting up parental controls.
5. Encourage alternative activities
Control apps, which limit the time children can spend on screens, are popular with many parents. They work best when combined with open communication and collaborative rule-setting, that includes the child’s input.
Diversionary strategies, where parents actively encourage their children to engage in alternative, off-screen pursuits – such as outdoor play or reading printed books – have also been shown to help children turn their attention away from screens. Parents can help this shift by using cues, such as music or visual prompts, to guide children toward engaging in other activities. Playing or singing a particular song, for instance, could mean it’s time to stop using a screen, and play with toys instead or do some reading.
You might find that these strategies are preferable to restrictive mediation such as screen time limits. These can be difficult to enforce due to potential conflicts, tantrums or parental inconsistency.
By implementing these tips, you can help foster healthy screen habits in your children while enhancing their overall development and wellbeing.
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